Why I feel that I I am special... with him...

You see, no one has ever told me that I am beautiful. And the way he looks at me, it makes me feel that he really means it, from the bottom of his heart. He is the only person who thinks that I am beautiful even when I don't have any makeup on. He makes me feel that... I don't have to work so hard to pretend to be another person for him to like me. Afterall, the first time when he kissed me was when I just woke up, with messy hair and no make up. :p

With him, everything is effortless, as natural as breathing.  

You see, I hate my body so much, every part of it, but he dares to tell me, "I love every dot on your face." It was because of him, I started to try to find something likable about my body, about myself. 

I started learning to dance, because he thinks that I look sexy (although I don't agree). I want to go dancing, so that maybe I can unearth the hidden sexiness somewhere inside me. 

He makes me feel happy, blissfully happy, and safe. Despite the fact that we are having right now a veeeeeery long distance relationship, I never doubted a second that he might be doing something behind my back. People always say that long distance relationship is very difficult to keep, and people would gradually drift apart, to look for someone who is closer to them. WIth him, although he is not with me in person most of the time, I feel that he is constantly with me, in my heart, in my mind. 

I still don't like pictures of myself, but I know that he does. So I started to try to make more pictures of myself, because I know that he wants to see. I feel that I am starting to be more confident about myself, about my... imperfection. Even though I still don't like the pictures, I started to feel... well... I don't mind them as much anymore. I found myself saying 'If you want to post them (show them to the world), then do!" 

I have a feeling that he is proud of me, proud of having me (though I don't know whether I felt correctly), that's why he wants to take a lot of pictures of me, and to show people pictures of me. 

We will have been together for a year next month. In this year, I feel that I am happy most of the time in our relationship. My friend once saw me smile when I was talking about him, she said, "Why my boyfriend is so close to me but he can't make me smile like you do, but your boyfriend is over 5000 miles away and you are smiling like this!" 

Dziekuję bardzo mój mężczysno za wszystko, a przypraszam bardzo, że nie będziemy mogły spędzić razem naszą pierwszą rocznicę.